Lately i've got no mood to work, not only has the incident made me morbid (yet wanting to embrace life) it has rendered me unable to articulate myself in the manner which i was used to.
My younger brother just had his convocation today.
I'm glad we've both got our education out of the way for now.
I wish him luck n good fortunes in the job market.
Hopefully there's more good n uplifting news like that in the next few posts.
Take care y'all!
*Hugs!
Sunday, July 02, 2006
A Friend, Brother, Soldier's departure.
On July the 1st, i received news that one of my troopers has left us, gone to another plane in this universe, i sincerely hope it's a much better place with less pain and anguish.
I've been to funerals before, but often it's those of whom i'm not close with, relatives, friends' relatives or i've probably attended these funerals at an age when i've yet to fully understand the fragility of life and how much it means to lose someone.
The full impact of his demise didn't strike me untill i was right in front of the altar, before then, imagery of his behaviour and the interactions we had had already played out in my mind, but nothing prepared me for the sight of a friend's photo, a trooper whom i've regarded as my younger brother on a funeral altar.
There were those whom asked if i have taken a last look at him. Even as i try to explain that i couldn't, my facial expression contorted from being deadpan to the extent where my lips could no longer help but shake as i said i couldn't bear looking at him lying in the casket when i already couldn't control my emotions just by looking at his photo.
There are those whom were concerned with the details of his departure, i couldn't be occupied with them, to me these were information i don't need to know, i know i've already lost one of my best troopers, isn't that enough for the time being?
Herng Jye, in reality, i still can't accept the fact that you're gone.
*I am struggling to continue this post, although i wish to come up with an eulogy of sorts, the flood of memories and experiences i shared with him cannot be contained within words and i'm not able to articulate myself well after the late nights.*
I've been to funerals before, but often it's those of whom i'm not close with, relatives, friends' relatives or i've probably attended these funerals at an age when i've yet to fully understand the fragility of life and how much it means to lose someone.
The full impact of his demise didn't strike me untill i was right in front of the altar, before then, imagery of his behaviour and the interactions we had had already played out in my mind, but nothing prepared me for the sight of a friend's photo, a trooper whom i've regarded as my younger brother on a funeral altar.
There were those whom asked if i have taken a last look at him. Even as i try to explain that i couldn't, my facial expression contorted from being deadpan to the extent where my lips could no longer help but shake as i said i couldn't bear looking at him lying in the casket when i already couldn't control my emotions just by looking at his photo.
There are those whom were concerned with the details of his departure, i couldn't be occupied with them, to me these were information i don't need to know, i know i've already lost one of my best troopers, isn't that enough for the time being?
Herng Jye, in reality, i still can't accept the fact that you're gone.
*I am struggling to continue this post, although i wish to come up with an eulogy of sorts, the flood of memories and experiences i shared with him cannot be contained within words and i'm not able to articulate myself well after the late nights.*
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Life Oh Life!
Melbourne..i can't help missing you, desiring you, yearning for you, its utmost scandalous how badly i want you.
My chums are going skiing this weekend, Australia's in the final 16 of the World Cup and i am heading to outfield exercises this coming monday facing the possibility of not seeing my gal till like two weeks later.argh!
I know i am unfocused and unprofessional to an extent.
But you, those who read my blog, know, that work aint life itself, its just a part of life.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for Oct!=)
Besides my complaints, nothing much else has happened in my boring life here in humid Spore, i just had a tiff with my gal yesterday, thank goodness it was over before any damage (or was there?) was done.
What ever the case, i'm glad to be well again!
I just hope my lungs are alright!
=P
My chums are going skiing this weekend, Australia's in the final 16 of the World Cup and i am heading to outfield exercises this coming monday facing the possibility of not seeing my gal till like two weeks later.argh!
I know i am unfocused and unprofessional to an extent.
But you, those who read my blog, know, that work aint life itself, its just a part of life.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for Oct!=)
Besides my complaints, nothing much else has happened in my boring life here in humid Spore, i just had a tiff with my gal yesterday, thank goodness it was over before any damage (or was there?) was done.
What ever the case, i'm glad to be well again!
I just hope my lungs are alright!
=P
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Breathe!
Now that i'm well, i've been assessed to have hyperinflated lungs.
I'm thankful that i'm healthy again, i hope that the tests doesnt render me medically unfit in some capacity or another.
It has been a busy and sorta bad week if i may put it that way, at work, there was a major issue which threatened to throw the entire platoon into disarray.
The issue has been resolved and fortunately we have the understanding and support of our commanders so it wasn't that bad come to think of it. In fact, we've been very lucky following the fiasco.
I think i need a change of luck..haha anyone with pomelo leaves?=)
*For the uninitated, some chinese believe showering with pomelo leaves+water removes bad luck.
I'm thankful that i'm healthy again, i hope that the tests doesnt render me medically unfit in some capacity or another.
It has been a busy and sorta bad week if i may put it that way, at work, there was a major issue which threatened to throw the entire platoon into disarray.
The issue has been resolved and fortunately we have the understanding and support of our commanders so it wasn't that bad come to think of it. In fact, we've been very lucky following the fiasco.
I think i need a change of luck..haha anyone with pomelo leaves?=)
*For the uninitated, some chinese believe showering with pomelo leaves+water removes bad luck.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Sunday, June 04, 2006
sick as hell
I havent been this sick ever, almost a week of fever and headaches, coughing like i'm gonna spill my lungs out any moment, a frantic trip to the hospital worrying that it might be dengue/malaria, such medical drama, it could only be topped if i met a doctor with the 'charm' of DR. Gregory House or even the lovely DR Allison Cameron lol. (I miss my dramas in Australia!!!)
The final few doses of antibiotics would be finished by tonight, i do feel better, but i wonder how things would be once i stop taking the paracetamol to curb the feverish feeling i've had for the past week.
already i feel drained and damn weak.
i must recover and start training all over again!
But for now, i think i'm better off heading back to rest!
Laters people, i missed you all!
The final few doses of antibiotics would be finished by tonight, i do feel better, but i wonder how things would be once i stop taking the paracetamol to curb the feverish feeling i've had for the past week.
already i feel drained and damn weak.
i must recover and start training all over again!
But for now, i think i'm better off heading back to rest!
Laters people, i missed you all!
Saturday, May 27, 2006
sick man blogging
I succumbed to the dreaded flu bug after many around me got infected by the pesky flu virus, it wasnt pleasant at all, since coming back from Melb, i haven't felt or been this sick and it wasn't funny shivering on a hot day and having to wrap blankets around you just to keep warm.
Fortunately, i hope the worst of the flu bug is over now as i am recovering from a fever and the numerous body aches the flu has inflicted on me.
On sunday i shall be making my way into Msia for my granny's 80th Birthday, for the uninitiated, my granny took care of me during my childhood till i was ripe for Kindergarden. All this while, we were staying in Johor Bahru, Malaysia, in a sleepy lil town famous for PINEAPPLES! =)
I recall with vivid and strong images of 'Ah Mah' bringing me across the causeway every once in awhile to renew the passport during my childhood years. The huge lorries, smokey engines and loud horns still remain in my head as i look back at how life was when i was a little boy. hurhur. =P
Ahhh the age of innocence.
I shall go fight off the headache i'm having right now.Shall be back to blog again soon i hope!
Course awaits me on monday...I'm missing my gal so much now.BOOO!
Fortunately, i hope the worst of the flu bug is over now as i am recovering from a fever and the numerous body aches the flu has inflicted on me.
On sunday i shall be making my way into Msia for my granny's 80th Birthday, for the uninitiated, my granny took care of me during my childhood till i was ripe for Kindergarden. All this while, we were staying in Johor Bahru, Malaysia, in a sleepy lil town famous for PINEAPPLES! =)
I recall with vivid and strong images of 'Ah Mah' bringing me across the causeway every once in awhile to renew the passport during my childhood years. The huge lorries, smokey engines and loud horns still remain in my head as i look back at how life was when i was a little boy. hurhur. =P
Ahhh the age of innocence.
I shall go fight off the headache i'm having right now.Shall be back to blog again soon i hope!
Course awaits me on monday...I'm missing my gal so much now.BOOO!
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Our lives began to End when we began keeping silent about things that matter.
It isnt by choice that this blog has been a ghosttown for the last few weeks.
Being on course at the Western tip of the island and being ferried last week and next to an Island resort for military training doesn't help to allow me time to give this blog it's much deserved attention.
Spending time underneath the stars made me think about alot of things..about my loved ones, about my job, about my options for the future and it was the cumulative effects of these thoughts that reinforced my belief that this job is not what i really want to be doing for the rest of my life.
I want to spend more time with my loved ones, with my family, the present one and the family which i hope to build in the near future and not be out being swarmed by mozzies at 2am awaiting to be redeployed for another mission.
A job/career is an important part of a person's life, but it shouldn't consume the individual's entire life and there's a possiblity that this job will do just that to me with time to come.
What would i be when i am able to leave the force?
Dreams of starting a food biz, flying (piloting), doing research in History..i dont know yet,nothing firm has materialised but perhaps something will guide my decision in the near future.
The other thing that keeps my heart pumping is the continous thought of my loved ones as well as those under my command in the Scout platoon. Without people around us, i dread to imagine life as an individual whose life is devoid of concern about others. If you can't love, how can you be loved in returned? It is because of my love for those around me that keeps me sane in a place where although distances seem to have narrowed by technology, but due to economic reasons, individuals are being dispersed all over the globe, further and further apart with advances in transportation, what i yearn for after a crazy week is to return to the embrace of a loved one, to let my defences down, to be totally vulnerable and just let my tired soul be the way it should be..at peace and at ease, resting and recovering from the toils of each day.
You can be my lover, my family, my friends or even someone who only knows me through this blog, if you're reading this and you feel something warm within you.
Tell someone you love them this very minute.=)
Being on course at the Western tip of the island and being ferried last week and next to an Island resort for military training doesn't help to allow me time to give this blog it's much deserved attention.
Spending time underneath the stars made me think about alot of things..about my loved ones, about my job, about my options for the future and it was the cumulative effects of these thoughts that reinforced my belief that this job is not what i really want to be doing for the rest of my life.
I want to spend more time with my loved ones, with my family, the present one and the family which i hope to build in the near future and not be out being swarmed by mozzies at 2am awaiting to be redeployed for another mission.
A job/career is an important part of a person's life, but it shouldn't consume the individual's entire life and there's a possiblity that this job will do just that to me with time to come.
What would i be when i am able to leave the force?
Dreams of starting a food biz, flying (piloting), doing research in History..i dont know yet,nothing firm has materialised but perhaps something will guide my decision in the near future.
The other thing that keeps my heart pumping is the continous thought of my loved ones as well as those under my command in the Scout platoon. Without people around us, i dread to imagine life as an individual whose life is devoid of concern about others. If you can't love, how can you be loved in returned? It is because of my love for those around me that keeps me sane in a place where although distances seem to have narrowed by technology, but due to economic reasons, individuals are being dispersed all over the globe, further and further apart with advances in transportation, what i yearn for after a crazy week is to return to the embrace of a loved one, to let my defences down, to be totally vulnerable and just let my tired soul be the way it should be..at peace and at ease, resting and recovering from the toils of each day.
You can be my lover, my family, my friends or even someone who only knows me through this blog, if you're reading this and you feel something warm within you.
Tell someone you love them this very minute.=)
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