Auld Lang Syne

The end of another year, a time for reflection and showing appreciation.
A time for new year's resolutions and aspirations.

Firstly i shall like to show my appreciation to the lovely friends and my family for the wonderful two years which i've spent in Melb.
It was a interesting and horrible first year, however, this year has been really magical in the sense that at a moment where i needed the support and friends to tide me over a bad patch of my life, there you guys were to carry me over.
i've learnt more about loving someone then before, that love should be accepting a person for whom he/she is, the present and future matters, not the past nor the history.
I've learnt that fun in life can be simple, it can be as easy as pancakes and potluck not requiring fancy parties at showy clubs.
My family has shown me what sacrifice is as they assisted me emotionally, financially at their own expense while i was away for studies.

In view of these, i shall set my NY's resolutions as such.

1)Be kinder and more loving towards my family.
2)Drink lesser in 2006 and work towards a target of drinking only once a week in 2007.
3)Be as selfless and goodnatured as some of the lovely friends that i have came to befriend.
4)Save more $$$, for my return fling with planet M!
5)Spend less time on MSN.
6)Quit Coffee
7)Do a more comprehensive resolutions list! lol

Tonight i shall be drinking again, but not to suppress any sadness nor to binge and get myself drunk irresponsibly, but drink to celebrate the wonderful year that has gone by and gear myself for an exciting year ahead!

Happy New Year my Dear friends!

Fatman and Boy Blubber

Wah man, i love to catch up with my mates over here but i think all these meeting ups/dinners/drinking sessions are really making me burst!
oh well, blame it on GLUTTONY!*LUSToo! hehehe =P

Had a great session out with Jimmy, Henry, Hongda, Anqi and Ah soh and wife (kat) whos a human baby bomb, with the baby ready to come out anytime!So exciting!

They watched in amazement as i devoured, two bowls of porridge (with egg, no less), one Barchor Mee soup, some satay, some otak, some carrotcake and some Hokkien Mee...*burp and i washed it all down with good old cheap tiger beer.lol

In fact i am so full i cant sleep...guess i'm gonna be really tired again tmr.argh.wats new?=P

Fortunately/unfortunately, work starts next week and i guess that means the PAIN is coming!

*burp*burp.

And there were two.

I havent been blogging fairly regularly, been busy catching up with friends, been busy with the forum and even busier to forget that i've forgotten a dinner date with Zihui yesterday! Ooopsie!=P
Sorry my dear Cherie, i'll make it up to you on Friday yah?!! =)

And so..today i went shoe hunting and hunted i did, saw two pairs that i liked and i could swear that if i were to go on looking, i would have found even more pairs which i wanted to get, unfortunately moolah is limited and soon i would have to decide between the two.

mmm perhaps i should take pictures of the shoes and let u all decide for me? (hope the store ppl doesnt chase me off while i do that though.)

Soon after i wound up at Holland village, lovely it was, now it looked like a warzone, with all the construction of the circle line going on around the area, it looked more like lego land more then the cozy haven i knew it was previously.
Dinner with three of my darlings from Melb whom were there with me since day one, Ain, Lindsay and Germaine turned out really well at Chachacha, we enjoyed the great mexican fare and more importantly the excellent frozen margaritas!

As the night progressed i became quieter and more mellow/emo as i slowly realised how much i was gonna miss Lindsay and Ain once they leave the coming week.

The three of us might not have spent the most time together out of Uni, but everytime we met, we had such great memories, the first housewarming party, to drinking sessions, shisha puffing times, late nights working on essays together, cozy heart to heart talks about our lives/r.s/studies provided the basis of a friendship which made me feel very very close to the two of them.

I've seen them through good and tough times and more importantly they've always been there for me no matter what, through the terrible first year in Melb, the downs of my r.s, they've always given infailable advice, rationalising my irrationality, keeping me sane despite my madness. My very first thoughts during graduation just a few weeks ago were that of sadness, welling from the desire to have shared the moment of academic triumph with my dearest friends. I know well enough that Linds and Ain would make it good in Uni and come Aug06, they too would rejoice like i had, i could only wish to be there for them on their special day but i hope being there in Winter06 would suffice to show how much these two darlings mean to me and my life from the very day we've met.


With an embrace that seem to linger on, i hugged them goodbye, only knowing i'll see them at the airport before they return to Melbourne but not knowing when i'll see them again.

Goodbye My Lover.

Farewell my coloured strands upon my head.
Time to go back to boring black in preparation for work back in the forces.

Adios!

The Damage After.

Post Xmas, i woke up feeling tummy aches and a slight hangover from last night's binge of booze. I decided i wasn't in the best of moods and shape to go out and meet people so i decided to tell serena that i wasn't going to be going to her potluck/xmas dinner thingy later this evening.

Something i got from her though was, room temperature coke is a good remedy for alcohol induced tummyaches!
Wow, that makes coke a real multipurpose drink, i also learnt that warm coke is good for reducing heatiness!
Amazing!hurhur.

I better go for a run before dinner, i feel absolutely flabby in the mid region and i tont think that's the best way to start the new year!Esp when i have to start work on the 3rd!

A good thing though was that i met Kangwei last night!

Yay! =)

It's Xmas Time.

It's Xmas time, a horrible time to be caught being alone.

I just woke up from a nap, its almost 7pm, why didnt i sleep more and just wake up into a new day?

Stomach hungry, no choice, so too is my heart, hungry for affection.

The holiday season is never kind to the lonely hearted.

I'll be glad when all the festivities is over and life goes back to normal.

Drink hard, play harder those whom make merry tonight!

Merry Xmas!

Lovely Island, Set In the Sea...

I met Andrew this afternoon to shop for his proposal ring and along with that i had an excellent time sharing in his joy and the preparation for his big fluke cheapo marriage proposal.

Cheapo fake diamond ring cased in a 'personalised' Tiffany & Co box and a bunch of bananas, i can only imagine how hilarious the whole scenario would be.heehee =P
Best wishes to Ariel and Andrew!Can't wait to attend their wedding dinner, i had a sneak peak at their new home too, made me feel like i'm way behind in life, but hahah haven't i always been a late achiever?=P

Home, Singapore, whatever you may wish to call this place we live in, its changing everyday, roads have been rebuilt, new buildings raised, disappeared, everything is moving even if you are standing still.

My wise brother commented just today, has our old primary school been demolished?As he was planning a visit there to take fotos, i told him our dear Woodlands Pri. Sch has long been demolished and where we once ran around chasing each other during recess, has became the field which spans across Fuchun sec school.

Sadly and truly, the place where we spent our childhood has vanished and none or little of us are able to re-visit those places as the way they were when we were still kids.
The only comfort resides in the mental images i have and fond memories in my mind and heart of these places, likewise i am sure i would find significant changes to Melb when i return one day.

However Everything's the same, in my mind and heart at least.=)
Thank You.

Home is where the heart is.

I borrowed today's blog title from Ain, that girl wrote me such a beautiful testimonial and not only was it touching, it also reminded me of the memorable times we had since we've met in Melb.

One of the first few friends i've made even before embarking on the journey to Melb, little did i know that we would be such great friends at the end of the day. Although we both started out seeking to pursue an education in Psychology, our paths has changed since the very first semester when i dropped out, however what has touched me is the continous memorable experiences with Ain in Uni that has remained unchanged till the very last semester.

I'll miss the days we used to spend in Uni together.
i secretly hope i'll be able to attend your graduation with all four of us reuniting in Melb for one last fling before leaving a place which has changed so much of our lives.

We've came from home, away from our loved ones, away from things which we've hoped to leave behind.
Away down under, you became my family, my loved ones.
We might not see each other everyday, but i know whenever there's sh**, you'll always be there for me.
I can't say enough thank yous, but i rather say i shall miss you, Ain. =)

Since You've Been Gone.

Since returning to Sillypore, i've realised a few things which made me pretty amused.

Having meals out, no western food easily available and by that i dont include the usual chicken chop stall in most coffeeshops. No longer isit expensive to eat out and although the meals don't fill me up as it should, considering how oversized the portions are in Melb, i think i'll not do double servings or order additional food for the moment and try and get back on a typical Singaporean appetite instead of an Aussie-bred one. lol

No cheap and readily available lattes, hot chocs and coffees from fave 'kopitiam' Cafe Notturno, instead TEH, KOPI and MILO becomes the staple drink during every meal out, oh and did i mention that they cost under SGD 0.80?

Local television on sunday looked much better then channel 7 and Ten anytime, although i miss all the sporting news about footie and cricket, its good to see variety programs again instead of horrible music videos on sunday morning.

I spent the day out meeting friends from forum, chitchatting and dinner at home with mom before heading out again for the usual sunday physical activity of basketball with the guys.
Never felt so tired for a long time and i particularly enjoyed the luxury of being able to head out for readily available late suppers, although i didnt eat anything (and feel terribly hungry as i blog), i reckon theres no rush in trying out all those delicious local goodies again. mmmm that Eee Mee that the guys had earlier looked really yummy! Esp with preserved green chillis!wooohoo!

And ohmygod..carriechong still looks so hot!
hahha..

A Stranger in a foreign land

It first started when for a long time, i saw an Ah Beng (thats Singaporean lingo for a particular group of the community) at the airport.

CUlture shock!
Secondly was seeing so many asians around, double shot of culture shock.
third wave, dirty dodgy lift with the stench of urine from either a dog or a irresponsible human.
4th blast, no longer having to turn the tap for hotwater during the shower.

It's 430am Local time, i can't sleep even though its way over my usual bedtime...
couldnt sleep on the plane earlier as well, i've opened the card darling, i love you too, i didnt open the main bulky one with the cookbook and another booklet which i saw you making the night i stayed over..dont think i can take so much emotional battering in one evening.

Irregardless, i already miss not hearing from you via sms or fonecall, i was hoping you would reply my text from Melb, but even as i delayed switching off my fone till the latest possible moment, i was sad not to hear from you then.

I miss sleeping on a double bed with you beside me, ready for a shower of kisses to rejoice in the awakening of a brand new day.

It will take a lot to get used to life back in reality.
For Melbourne seems like a dream now, which i am desperately attempting to get back into.

And so i shall, sleep sleep sleep...
I miss you more as i think of your silly smile.=(
perhaps i might be able to get back to the dreamscape which i so desire right now.

Meanwhile, do take care darling.*hugs

Seeya later Mate!

My final post before i board the plane later this evening and head back home, to reality, to a place which i must go back to regardless.

As i step out from the ra-ra from last night's graduation ceremony and faced the sobering thought of silence, i rejoiced in having graduated with the friends that i've made here, Kristine, Calista, Germaine..in the midst of it though, i wish Lindsay and Ain were along side with me. I wish them all the very best.

*Thanks Nat and Jean for attending my ceremony!

I am glad my parents were able to make the sacrifice to allow me to lead a student's life here in Melbourne, without their help and selflessness, i would still probably be in the forces, perhaps even in the midst of an exercise right now.

The time has past so quickly, i have yet to fully absorb the sequence of events that has happened or is about to occur. I am wishing that time would stop, i wish we didnt have to sleep, for everytime we wake, time has slipped us by and although what has said has been said, there remains a sense of incompleteness which fills my chest with lead and shackles my feet.

I reckon this feeling will never be resolved, but perhaps with every time i return to Melb and what happens then, perhaps there would be some reconciliation.
Untill then, i shall not say goodbye for this is not the end, see ya later Melbourne and the dearest friends which i've made here and abroad.

Thank you for the experience of a lifetime.

I'm ... I'm ...

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn
The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

Nothing Excites Me Anymore.

I must have done the most sighs ever in an hour.

While packing up the remains of my possessions and getting ready for the big day tomorrow and the dreaded flight back home on Fri, i feel so emotionally perturbed that things are gonna be so different once i board that plane.

Somethings would be gone for good, never would the experience be the same, my excellent housemate, Leon, my carefree life here, the tempermental weather of Melbourne, my whole memory of the time here and lastly, to emphasise how much i dread leaving, i am emotionally ka-Powed by the fact that i shall have to leave my dearest Natalie.

Everytime something good happens, they don't seem to last do they? I feel so frustrated, so powerless, i wished i didn't have to go home.

Yet as i remind her that there are greater more important things ahead of us then just being together at the moment, i cringe at the thought and the weight on my heart that just one night separates reality and what has came to be my last shot at being free from responsibilities.

I didn't cry when i had to leave Singapore two years ago for Melbourne, but as i dive deeper into this emotional whirlpool i am in right now, i feel my tears begin to well.
I left two years ago, to escape an emotional trauma which had weighed down on me, coming to Melbourne was my release, ironic how it has came to be that now the same emotional baggage, although in a different form has came back to haunt and bite back at me with a refreshed vengance.

At times like these, nothing compares to letting the song buried within my sadsongs collection express how i feel this very moment, untill i don't know when. =(

I am sorry i couldnt stay over, blame it on my procrasination that i am still unpacked and not even sent my stuff back home yet, not even had my shirt pressed for tomorrow's ceremony, i can't stop time, it just keeps getting faster everytime i look at it, to the extend i dread to see it.
I yearn for your loving touch, your sweet smile which has cheered me up and made me laugh on so many occasions, your longing embrace which brings our hearts together, in sync for that very moment...

At the ripe old age of 27, i feel like a lost boy, not knowing what to do, where i am and how i am gonna be. I miss you so much already...

The Brat.

My 455th post.

The days have been moving along too quickly, in less then 5 days i would be boarding the plane and leaving behind wonderful memories of Melbourne and my dear Natalie.
When i first got here, i hated the cold weather and i didn't even want to stay a single day out of Uni in Melbourne, ironic how life is and how my sentiments towards Melbourne is now.
I can't get enough of the cold gusts of wind that whirl around the city and around my body, causing my tee to flap madly, as if it has a life of its own, wanting to fly away.

Now my feelings for some one special, so sexy, so lovely, so fei fei, so cute has grown beyond what i can manage, similarly to how i felt about Melbourne, i thought i would be fine and i wouldn't feel much emotional pangs when it's time to say goodbye.

I have been blessed to have met an angel whom soothe my soul and allowed me to believe in being honest and frank when two people get together. Thanks Natalie, for everything, i want us to treasure the happy moments that we have instead of feeling sad about having to say goodbye, indeed it is difficult and i can imagine how it must feel like for you.

There's a stronger bond between us now then ever before and its going to grow with each and everyday from now on, after i leave and even when we don't see each other for awhile.
In between episodes of House and trying to organise stuff for the big departure on friday night, i want you especially to know that you don't just have a special place within my life/heart, you have been a part of me and will continue to be.

When i chance upon spectacles, hot chocolates, orange cardigans, casio watches, paper mache bangles, retro dresses, smell of rain, trips to the laundry, ipods, livestrong wristbands, "you are my sunshine", ticklish giggles and blond streaks.
It will not only remind me of you, but allow me to feel that you are all around me, in every place that i may be. Not only will it remind me of the great times we had, but also of a heart so pure, so loving that i'm afraid i wouldn't be loved the same way and unconditionally again.

I Love you.=)

PS, Did i tell you i love the name Natalie and i ever wanted to name my daughter (in the event i have one) the very same name?

Life Is Short

Holidays are even shorter.

I'm Back from Cairns.