24 hours

i did what i usually do when i am in a mental dilemma or struggle.
i went running in the cold dark windy night of melbourne. running makes my mind clear and focused..as i ran and puffed into the wind thats biting on my face, it forces me to think of the issue deeply and in a calm and collected perspective.

i woke up feeling darn negative, when Ain called me coz she be late meeting me for lects, she could sense that i was upset?i didn't realise it myself..but i guessed i sounded snappy...such a prick for being a dickhead..it so happened that she broke off with her bf just a few hours ago...which is kinda the reason why she was late...poor gal...ended up she had to lift me out of my doldrums...funny isit not?that sometimes u find strength and sanity helping others when you are bleeding yourself?

we talked about self preservation, cynicism and wallowing in self despair ...i could see she getting emo man...
fortunately its wonderous what chocolate or in this case snickers can do to a gal feeling down?
i am glad i made her smile abit after sharing some of my perspectives about relationships in particular, religion and relationships.

what others do at times is they recognise that IT takes a greater person to recognise that things are not going well or end up well and they take steps to end the relationship even though it hurts them alot? they know that both parties and they themselves will end up being hurt after the split..even if it hurts them more...some of these clear headed souls do make the most painful of decisions...

we all want love and relationships simple, dreamy and cheery...often they are...but sometimes they are not..do we lose hope in r.s then?
no..i dun think so..
laterz guys..need to eat..i am hungry after the run!

it feels great to be alive and being able to love! theres no meaning if we lose any of these two mysteries in life!

its been a while since i blogged..haha i wonder why?perhaps no longer do i need to keep my emotions and thoughts to myself?no longer o i feel distant from home and my loved ones?yes physically i am far away..but this trip home during the winter holidays has made me closer to them then ever before. i spoke to my dad, hoping that he will once again have the courage and drive to start working again and prayed constantly for him and mum also. by a strange twist of good fortune, i found something which i thought was beyond my control. such a pleasant surprise, it made me feel sunny and chirpy the whole day long..even though it was a cold and usually wet day in melbourne. perhaps all it takes sometimes is effort and a stroke of good luck..haha..well, i am missing the sunny weather of spore already..i wish all of u could come and stay here awhile.heee..time time time..so quick and its almost the weekend..i wonder if hongda will survive his chalet without alchohol poisoning..heehehee..stay tuned folks, feel free to drop me an email anytime!

i am back in melbourne...cold...cold...and a heavy heart..back to studies.. i'll be back soon..take care people.

i don't feel too good.it should be a good day. my folks finally succumbed to my nagging and went together for a stroll around the blocks with me, i should be proud and i am..i hope they keep this going, i feel they are closer too, i am glad i came back this semester..its been a very packed holiday for me and i got more then i what i expected.somethings worked out well, others not how i want it to be, but thats life ain't it?i came back and like when i just left, i am over the limit with emo luggage. can't bear to leave?u bet!can't wait to return?in a way yes too!when even in the midst of alchohol and i am not excited, something must be wrong!ahahaahha...i want to rip out my heart and cast it aside...life will never be the same again...i will miss u guys.

met up with nara, pauline, jimmy. wan-ni and travis earlier for dinner at 85 at bedok..shiok man..haha had bar chor mee, pig organs soup, chickie wings...no wonder i am getting fat!haha oh well, realised too that i am the only single person present at dinner!warrau..emotional low then..anyway..met up with chloe too and went for one of the SOKA friendship meetings at tampines..quite insightful and emotionally evoking as some of the members shared their testimonials, one of the guy speakers testimonial was especially heart wrenching ..n i almost teared..perhaps i am worried too for my mums health..i shall pray for her well being..pretty soon i wun be around spore to be here for her..and for her to pester me to massage her!wahhaha...=P hey..lazy la at times..keke =O hmm still in my search for the religion in which i wish to place my faith in..well..how do u decide?hmm..i guess like someone said..dun take too long to decide..i shall indeed try and see if it does improve my state of mind and life in general..but is that the right way to assess what is a good religion?indecisive?...just want to be sure and not rewards focused...time to go...mind running in circles..chasing....where are u? am i destined to be like the lonesome leaf during winter?all by itself...

time..i am running out of it..i have no ticket to get back to melbourne..thanks to an extreme case of miscommunication between SQ and myself...and now all i can do is call everyday and make my case to them..to which they will reply...we are waitlisting you on these flights..we will contact you as soon as you are confirmed with a seat sir..sounds good enough..only thing..uni starts in two weeks time..and i have not even bought my textbooks yet..broke broke broke..time and money..they say you can almost trade off these two commodoties..only problem..i dun hv either of these to spare..so tell me...am i screwed or what..do you find this familiar?well..everytime i pass this place..i think of you.

and henry is telling aw all about hw the milky way is actually one big pool of intergalatic spunk...aw seems excited at the mention of spunk..=P

me and edwin...whacking more food!bah KUT TEH! yeahh...i love soups! dun nid to ask...soup..sure on!hahah i wonder where my fellow soup lover is at this moment?keke =P

it seems the latest 4D betting slips have been enlarged and betting been xtended to late hours..heres some of us busy filling in the immigration cards..HUH need to fill in meh asks henry..oh well..who else to ask such questions?hahaha..

another group of hungry sporean diners feasting on seafood like theres no tomorrow..hahaha..iodine overdose..=P hongda looks happy!is he gonna get some tonight?jiesheng looks like my dad in the 70s.hahah john and wife to be soon clara..edwin..hmm...looks constipated...hahah great to see u all guys!

chk out the food people..haha henry loooks cooked!hhhaha..and i look tired..hmm ugly too..

just came back from malaysia JB for dinner..what a spread at a cheap price too..slurpz..i feel more tyres building round my tummy...haha oh well..can't be bothered now..perhaps a round tummy might make me more attractive?haha oh well. oh no..shocking bills from the autoroaming in malaysia and thailand..super duper expensive sms rates man..haaha oh no..broke man is further broke by this liaozz...jialat jialat..guess its gonna be hawker food for me from now till my return..which reminds me..my airtik is screwed too..suddenly it seems like i'll be stranded here in spore..oh well..somepics from the trip earlier..wahaha..enjoy people..i sure did..alot of leftover chee cheong fun though.=P who ask u dun wan to eat huh?kekekeke..

i feel happy.
although the days remaining in spore are getting lesser..
i felt or at least personally feel that its been time well spent back here.
meeting up with friends.family.
the trips to thailand and malaysia.
sometimes i wish i don't need to leave..but absence does make the heart grow fonder and i will miss u all more,appreciate all of you better and hopefully its mutual..haha

remember the carebear stare?4...3..2..1...care bear stare!!!
hahaha well tink i am cultivating a nice round tummy now..darn..=P

feeling fuzzzy and in need of a hug or should i say..i want to give U one ..=)

i just came home after katong laksa..yes..nancy..katong 328 laksa..haha..slurpz..wah seepeh shiok.wanted to do bar chor mee..but i leave it for another day la..keke..went for a few rounds of drinks with jimbo n KH before we went for coffee at east coast..serena joined us later on and haha had a great time chatting..esp when everyting started getting real whacky when theres tis bit of food thats stuck to my teeth that just wun come off..oh well...just tah pow back home to be eaten later lor.=P anyway one of my thai pics...went to buddha monthon..thats the buddhist precint in thailand...great scenic place..went there to get some thai amulets and to pray as well..i want to go back there again..miss the food there aldy..heez..more eating soon coming up..keke =P

hanging out at madam wong...one of my fave chill out places..yes..drinks are more expensive in spore..n yet..i dun even club in melb when drinks and clubbin is so much cheaper..ironic eh?haha..anyway i must dispel this stereotypification of me as a hardcore drinker n clubber..i can't drink well n i dun really club much..i just appear to be..now what do we all know abt judging a person on their appearances?heh..in the midst of planning a seafood/makan session in JB this coming tues..dilemma..should i jio alot of people?haha which inevitably makes it harder to coord n arrange due to messiness in numbers..well..we'll see hw it goes. time time..precious time..returning soon in 2 weeks time..alas...gonna miss everyting n everyone so much.=) heading out soon to meet some forum friends and then duncan for dinner (katong laksa, here i come!!! slurpz..)more pics soon...i feel fotoish tonite..wahaha =)

doesn't rebecca reminds u of miriam yeung?keke..well..tat was taken when i returned to spore (first week i tink). anyway..i went to cut my hair tis grey skied morning..i always like cutting my hair when i have confused n negative thoughts in my mind..somehow all the cutting and trimming makes me feel good...therapeutic almost!hmm but i look like a JIU HU KIA now..haha oh well..who cares?i spent the rest of the time out of home wandering around the shopping area..checked out some vcds but reckoned i will go el cheapo and buy them from malaysia. returned home for dinner with mum n dad n was attempting to learn how to cook pigs stomach soup..keke..=) betta experiment first b4 i offer it to anyone..anyway results are out..whew..i cleared everyting..so nervous..in fact i totally forgotten tht results are out today..keke =) didn't get to go swimming today (why does it always rain on me?) hope it be betta later on ..fri aldy...time moves so fast...runaway with my heart..runaway with my soul..( vertical horizon )had supper with toady..warrau..seems like my gang is falling apart..jialat..quite saddened by the internal conflicts thats driving my gang of sec sch frenz apart.if it were more serious matters i be fine with it..but coz of childish behaviour from 25ish guys...KAOZ! everyone should watch what they say..once u said it..sorry doesn't help..understand why i dun speak so much at times?i learnt it the hard way...planning a pig out session in msia tis coming tues...any takers?ah gu wan to go anot?edwin n weilun is on aldy..=) oh yea..i betta address tis to a certain KITTY of mine..eh..dun do tis to urself k..why wld u want to hurt someone whom u aldy hurt b4..hes been great to u rite?is tis the way to repay him?i be so disapppt with u!and if u need the slap to wake u up..i'll make an exception n hit ya if its wat required!...nuff said...till the next blog...love n respect from woodstock! (thats wat jon fong calls woodlands..hahah )

i realised..i not been blogging for sometime..sorry for those whom been realli great to have kept reading my blogs..i wish i have more time to write..but honestly i am at a stage of my life where i think i ought to spend more time with friends now tat i am back here rather then write about how much i missed u all..why not be in the midst of u all?there are some that disappointed me..yea..we'll meet when u return..but sadly get busy or missing when i contact them...nah..they probably have their reasons..so i shall not be disappointed..i must understand why!its always easy to misunderstand people..take time to look at the bigger picture..n being a slow person..i need more time.=) i am sure u all can bear with me rite?i am glad for the friends that i have..with out u all i have nothing dearer then my folks and brother..indeed i am blessed to have friends like u all..some of u have been thru thick n thin with me..slept with me..yes JIMMY..haha..some of u have known me for years...yet not really know me..some only a few months..and we are 'there' when it comes to understanding and bitching!yes edwin..where are u bro?haha some of u dun say much..but i appreciate u all...we always need silent workers in the world we live in..not every one is like me..loudmouth and vindictive...ahaha see..i told u..oni a few know this..JON fong..where art thou?miss u so much man..tis guy been with me thruout my emotional ups and downs..n never complained...hes a bro to keep..still yet to see u back in spore..ur liquor is still with me leh!i be back in melb in a few days..its sooner then u think..so catch me if u want to..otherwise see ya at the end of the year!heeeez..i need to go cut my hair..i always cut my hair when i feel emotionally down..someting shocking..HAHAha..

checked out new asia bar and clubbed hopped to phuture at around two am..hmm i thought benedict goh is much taller ..nah.i am not saying this and incase u think its me just bragging about my height well..u shld noe betta..i dun want to be this tall...imagine the sprained necks and hunched back tat i have to endure..keke anyway as requested heres the pic we took after dinner at newton..as usual..ivan hong made his prescence felt..heee ..time is running out..less then 20 days left in spore n i need to get back to melbourne...at one point i wanted to head back there earlier..but now i can;t bear to leave.haha gonna get out soon..i hope greece wins the euro championships.make it a boring final..haha

so many thoughts...so little you can do.
went swimming today..and thats all i did..
lay in the sun..that wasn;t even warm..n didn;t get a tan like i wanted too..
but managed to hv time to sort out some thoughts.

thats all for now..
i dun really have much to write about now..

yet another...temple visits...haha

more pics from thai trip.

hmm i dunno...that seems to be my fave catchphrase these days. i just had this funny dream, i am trying to fathom what it means but its not gonna be easy with this confused mind of mine. met up with weilun and the guys yesterday, they orded and we went to grab dinner and although the second part plan of booozing went terribly wrong..i still felt that it was great to be able to see them...furthermore weilun will be going to london in sep, so i am gonna miss him, pretty soon i better start saving up for my post degree trip too, i could either visit weilun in london or perhaps perhaps visit vishal in new york..so many options..ain;t life confusing when you know there are more than one path that you can choose?it tears me apart at times having to choose, between what your heart tells you and what your mind tells you. which calls out to you more/stronger? what if they are equal in rationality and strength?HAHAH sad case ain;t i? i was wondering too...whats wrong with me? anyway..gonna post more pics of my thai trip here too, for those whom i can;t show it to on my laptop so do stay tuned. oh yea, coyote ugly?the club at MS, its really sucky so i do not encourage people to go there.=P you are better off spending your entertainment dollars elsewhere..esp on a wed night.